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Phedre's Journal


Phedre's Journal

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17 entries this month
 

Domestic Submissive

22:29 Dec 30 2011
Times Read: 542


For a long time, I feared in losing my submission. I thought I would never get it back. The weekend I moved from TX to TN, I was breaking down. Teine lovingly held me and soothingly spoke with me while I explained the worries.

It wasn't long after I first met him when I had briefly became his pet. Once I spoke with him again, I had asked him to take me back as something more, a submissive. A Domestic submissive (I was far from ready to claim sexual, since I was not yet ready for sex after what had happened not too long before this, for ten months).

He offered another relationship, one also full of love, and permanent. He proposed to me. A month and a half later, on Nov 2010, he and I married. I couldn't wait to live with him, to be his domestic submissive.

I absolutely love it. Starting two months ago, my fear over losing my submissive side has ended. I ended up actually becoming full subbie.

I don't care if no one understands my want to do things for another person, to serve them happily. I do not expect anyone to see how or why I could love this type of lifestyle. I don't care if no one else understands me for it. I make no excuses for my actions, and I do not need to excuse my Master for his actions, being my Master.

He is my partner. I am his partner. He is so loving, and I do not care if he asked me to do little things, whether i'm in the same house, 2,000 miles away, or half a world away. I love helping him. He is loving to me, sometimes to the point I can't stand it. In return, I could stand to make a few calls, or do small things for him... at the very least, love him back. *shrugs* I am his domestic. It is expected of me to behave a certain way. I love him, it is expected of me to behave a certain way. That's all I ever have to say to that, and if you have a problem with me loving my husband, I am sorry, but it's my own choice, and I'm standing up for it (despite the apparent fact I don't stand up for myself).



**FYI this isn't to you sis. this is to the others.


COMMENTS

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Kieataya
Kieataya
08:25 Dec 31 2011

Yeh Yeh... Save it.. I know it's to me too... -_-





Phedre
Phedre
16:05 Dec 31 2011

It can most certainly go to you but it doesn't. It goes to someone else who doesn't like BDSM but is submissive.





Kieataya
Kieataya
16:09 Dec 31 2011

Ah.. Your mother you mean.. We always knew there was a reason she and dad hooked up. Too bad she can't be more like my mom, yeh?





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

21:08 Dec 30 2011
Times Read: 543


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

Carriers

21:23 Dec 29 2011
Times Read: 548


Okay, Teine ordered a carrier for R'asha, which we thought would fit her because she was tiny and she curls up in a ball anyway, and it was only slightly off in dimension to the max carrier they allow in the cabin. Well, after a bit of crying because I considered putting her in there... (being a horrible mother and all that), and not having gotten her shots earlier... well...

Kiea and I looked for another carrier that would hold her comfortably enough so she could lay out if she wanted too. ... it's not easy to find dimensions for this certain thing, let me tell you... most bags were airline approved, however MY airline wouldn't approve them. So, i found something closer to the max dimensions, and bigger than the other one, hoping it will work.


COMMENTS

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The REAL Hachiko; In reply to Kieataya's thread. The WORLD"S Most LOYAL DOG

04:20 Dec 29 2011
Times Read: 551


In January 1924 a professor at the Japanese Imperial University brought home a two-month old Akita puppy. Dr. Ueno named the pup Hachiko.



The following year was a wonderful time for Hachiko and his new master. Akitas are large dogs, and Hachiko grew to be over ninety pounds. This beautiful white dog accompanied Dr. Ueno to the Shibuya train station every morning, where Dr. Ueno would say goodbye to Hachiko and head to the university. And every day when Dr. Ueno returned home Hachiko would be waiting for him at the train station and the two would go home together. Anyone could see the powerful bond between the large Akita and his master.



If things had continued like this, the story would still be one of admirable faithfulness from a dog to its master. But that was not the fate of Dr. Ueno and his loyal Akita Hachiko.



May 21, 1925 was like any other day for the pair. In the morning, Professor Ueno left Hachiko at Shibuya Station. But when Hachiko returned to Shibuya Station in the evening, his master was nowhere to be found. Though Hachiko waited, Dr. Ueno never showed up.



Dr. Ueno had died from a stroke earlier that day.



Akitas are very loyal dogs and do not bond easily with new people. Hachiko was sent away to another area of Japan where there were relatives of Dr. Ueno's who could take care of him. Because Hachiko had only belonged to Dr. Ueno for a little over a year, they probably hoped that the Akita would make a new family with them. But Hachiko didn't care. He ran away from the family and returned to the train station to wait for his master. The family realized that they couldn't keep the big Akita dog from heading to Shibuya Station everyday, so they gave Hachiko to Dr. Ueno's old gardener who still lived in the area.



Every evening Hachiko would return to Shibuya Station and wait for Dr. Ueno to get off the six-o'clock train. And every day, Hachiko was disappointed. Still, he never missed a day of hoping that his master would return to him.



The commuters noticed the Akita waiting every day at the station. Some of them had known the pair when Dr. Ueno was still alive, and everyone who heard of Hachiko's story was touched. People petted him and gave him food. Months passed, then years. Still Hachiko kept his vigil. A newspaper heard of the dog's story and Hachiko became a Japanese celebrity. To commemorate his loyalty, a statue of the Akita was erected at Shibuya station. Hachiko was even present at the ceremony!



Despite the people's loving intentions, Hachiko basically lived as a stray. He would call no place home except where Dr. Ueno was, and since Dr. Ueno was nowhere, Hachiko had no home. He lived on the street, fought other dogs, and ate scraps and handouts. Hachiko got sick with worms and mange, but because so many people admired him he was given treatment by a veterinarian. Hachiko became an old, scarred dog, with one ear up and one ear down, and no longer looked like the purebred Akita that he was.



It was March, 1935 when Hachiko finally died. The old Akita was found in a Shibuya street. He had waited for his master for almost ten years. Many people were saddened by Hachiko's death, but others say that he was finally at peace and could go with his master wherever it is we go when we die. Hachiko's story of loyalty touched the hearts of many people all over the world. In Japan, his statue at Shibuya Station is still a popular meeting place. There is even a ceremony to remember Hachiko every year on April 8. A Japanese movie, Hachiko Monogatari, was made in 1987 and was considered a smash-hit.



This year, Hachiko will hit the big screen for the second time. The movie stars Richard Gere and is called Hachiko: A Dog's Story. Richard Gere plays the part of Dr. Ueno, and a Japanese Akita named Forest will play the part of Hachiko. Besides Richard Gere, Joan Allen and Jason Alexander will also have parts in the movie. A Dog's Story has some big differences separating it from the true story. For one, the movie is not set in Japan, but in Rhode Island, and in the movie Hachiko is originally a stray. Still, Hachiko: A Dog's Story will touch people's hearts and hopefully inspire them to discover the true story of this loyal Akita dog.



Sources

http://northlandakitas.com

http://www.nylana.org/RRACI/hachiko.htm

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1028532/





COMMENTS

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El Paso and Rai

23:52 Dec 27 2011
Times Read: 562


As it turns out, I may be moving to El Paso a bit sooner than I thought. Teine will have the place ready by this thursday, and I am able to move down at any time after that. Because Teine can live in the barracks for free it would be a waste of money to pay for something I was not living in. I am planning on moving down on the 13th. This is, of course, not fully figured out yet. the rest of this needs to be figured out soon so I can make sure this all works. I am so grateful and happy i got to spend time with Rai and Ken. They were so nice to me during my stay here. I love them dearly as I do the pets. I do plan for Tim and I to visit them, and hope they would visit (or at least Rai would) ^^ (though i love ken dearly, i'm of course closer to rai) every once in a while, if they would like. I just hope, this is better terms than the first time... that time was sad. but then, back then, things were different. we all know it is for a good reason this time, for a good ending. not a bad one. *hugs rai* woman, you're amazing. i just wanted to tell you that. and i am not just saying that damnit. *in singsong* GODDESS!! hehe.

And i'll requre tons of pics of the pets too. and of her and Ken. *duh*.


COMMENTS

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Kieataya
Kieataya
00:07 Dec 28 2011

*cries* You know I get all snotty when I'm emotional... Where'd you put the damn tissues!!!!! *cries some more* Totally not fair! *sniffles*





Phedre
Phedre
00:24 Dec 28 2011

awww sweetie... *hugs and gives tissues*





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

18:54 Dec 27 2011
Times Read: 563


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

Plans

23:59 Dec 20 2011
Times Read: 573


My husband and I get to spend two days together for yule. In that time I plan to make a good dinner, my first for holidays, since last yule, we spent christmas with my step-father's family, so I was not able to cook. in addition, I am not quite sure what else we have planned... maybe some fun? Hehe.

I also hope, since my 21st birthday is soon, I might visit him down there, one last time before he is kicked out of the military. In addition there should be a play party so... *grins* my poor baby r'asha has to stay up here though...


COMMENTS

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Another Update

23:49 Dec 20 2011
Times Read: 574


So... *sighs* I went to have it turned off, the cable/internet. My dear husband kept it on before it was able to be taken off, to be nice to those idiots who didn't pay it. So, at the moment, we owe $87.11, instead of having it paid off with the payment of $34.26. It was to be disconnected (the wires at the house) on the 14th. Somehow though... it got turned off today. *shrugs* In addition, Jack decided to text my husband something to really piss him off... in addition to inform him that it was cut off. I've half a mind to tell him to stop harassing my husband, and to inform him that unlike him, I am not going to cheat on my spouse.... especially with who he calls my 'lover' who in fact is actually my sister....who is married.... gross.


COMMENTS

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PRIVATE ENTRY

18:57 Dec 16 2011
Times Read: 579


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

PRIVATE ENTRY

02:42 Dec 12 2011
Times Read: 585


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

Okay.... more information

16:18 Dec 11 2011
Times Read: 596


Well, you saw my journal on what I paid for these people... *sighs* Well, I decided after all of that, and the fact that I simply moved away, things wouldn't be too bad. Well, barely after I step into the living room, I get threatened. So I left, saying that I am not going back in there, and I am not dealing with this. He slammed the door behind me. I asked him what I did wrong, and he just stood there staring at me with that stupid look on his face. We decided if need be, I can go get my things with the police next saturday. However those things I had were replaceable....though I'd have to admit I'm tired of replacing my copy of the Kushiel's Chosen book.... Yes and then you saw the other post.


COMMENTS

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Nerves

05:59 Dec 11 2011
Times Read: 602


This is jack jesse has been telling lies and causing trouble for us and my daughter traceys family. If it continues I will be contacting a lawyer. I would appreciate it if you would have her stop. I am in no way meaning this as a threat to you. She left to be with her lover. It was a surprise to us. She says we threw her out.





He just sent me another saying he doesn't know why he was nice and packed for.u and not to believe what.ur telling me





This idiot sent this to my Husband! The nerve! None of this is true.....


COMMENTS

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my generousity and how it goes down the drain.

15:50 Dec 10 2011
Times Read: 610


You had no excuse to not keep up with that payment! and don't tell me you can't afford it because I did not only OVER PAY the utilities, PAID FOR GROCERIES AND SOMETIMES MORE THAN MY SHARE OF THE RENT TO ALL THE RENT and you guys have an extra at least $550 that I didn't! not only that but I had an extra $51 credit due overpaying from before! but then despite the fact you guys got more money than I did, it seems you could barely pay YOUR 1/3 rent and 1/3 groceries let alone all three RENT, GROCERIES, and UTILITIES without me. Lets see here....



ME Out of $1170/month:

RENT $550 (FULL RENT)

GROCERIES $200 (FULL MONTH)

UTILITIES $81 + $91 + $97 (FULL MONTH)

I have left over: #1019! I had $151 to myself! BUT WAIT!

I also paid for the HOUSE SUPPLIES!

AND EATING OUT FOR THE SPECIAL OCCASIONS!



What happened here was, you saw MY HUSBAND as an extra bank account. NO FUCKING WAY!

I married him because I love him. I'M A LESBIAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! NOT for his MONEY! Now... lets see your payments.



J Out of $935/month:

Paid once, $150 for groceries, once paid $400 rent, got AER help to pay the $600 dep on the utilities. Did ask for more money from me to help out, but helped with the housework, so I took that to be even.



M out of $1200/month

Paid not a DIME until NOVEMBER because J had no money this month. I agreed to pay half rent, though I was only there for HALF the month. In addition, I had some bills paid up to DECEMBER!

Your first reason was you wanted to splurge on yourself with your first work check. Okay.... bills comes first NO MATTER WHAT! Your next reason is your grandkids... you basically wanted to get BIKES for ALL 11 GRANDKIDS! NO! NOT HAPPENING WHEN YOU WONT PAY RENT OR UTILITIES!



So I left... and I had a $51 credit from overpaying on the internet/cable... (Instead of $81, you only had to pay $34.26) for this month...which you promised you would have paid by the 1st, since the bill was due on the 9th this month. You contacted TEINE ONCE even though I'M the one with the account INFORMATION! I EVEN TOLD YOU THAT, AND WHEN IT WAS DUE! Yet you made no effort to pay. the tone time you talked to teine right after I moved on the 20th of NOV, was to ask where to go pay it, and TIM said it was online, that WAS ALL HE KNEW. So you said you'd western union it. He agreed. YOU DID NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN NOR ME ABOUT ANY INFORMATION, AND YOU NEVER TRIED PAYING IT EITHER! I am not going to stand for it, so IT'S GETTING SHUT THE FUCK OFF! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MESS WITH OUR CREDIT HIS IS ALREADY SCREWED UP ENOUGH! I STILL HAVE THINGS MISSING FROM MY MOVE AND YOU WANNA DO THAT TYPE OF SHIT TO ME? HA!

Today is the day after it is due. Say bye bye to your internet and cable. Good luck finding a new service that wont cost you an arm and a leg!



COMMENTS

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Holidays and my Husband.

17:48 Dec 07 2011
Times Read: 612


Well... it seems Teine is much closer to retiring from his work. He is looking for a job in transition. BUT his pueblo wants the paperwork from one of the guys Teine had to give it too. Before he goes on leave to come up here (23rd). Three days beforehand. Otherwise he does not get to come up here to see me for three days. The next time he and I would be seeing each other would be when I move down there. I only know it's before Christmas next year, because they are about ready to send his MED-board packet up, and after that....it wont be long. Three months, more or less. In fact, that's what was needing the signature. His pueblo doesn't care. She COULD wait three days until he got back to deal with this matter. However, she WONT. She doesn't CARE that he has a wife to go to for three days. We spent... lets see... a bit more than a year apart, save one visit for four days. Then... there is a chance that the man who went on leave before giving Teine the paperwork after his signature might be able to give it to him before that date, somehow. Or something. *sighs* I don't know.


COMMENTS

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Elaboration

20:02 Dec 02 2011
Times Read: 626


I apologize ahead of time for the improper grammar. In Aug, I paid all the deposit $550, half the month's rent (we moved in the 15th) $275, a full month's worth of groceries, and $450 for cable/int. Okasan's husband paid $600 deposit for water and electric. She paid nothing. i also paid $100 gas to Jack to pick me up from Nashville, which was more than they used by a bit. I also gave Okasan's daughter $175 for living there for a night. Okasan's son in law undid 12 years of psychological work by kicking me out violently of his place after two and a half weeks: Michealle paid nothing towards the house. Jack paid the utils deposit ($600), $150 groceries), and $400 in that time. So i haven't any problem with him. She owes over $250 in phone bills, and $183 in rent for nov at the very least since i moved out. then she says she couldn't trust me with the key to my house, my name is on the lease. so i moved out

her excuse is christmas was coming up. before that, it was, that she hadn't had a job in a while so she wanted to splurg.

in addition, she didn't want to live with me because i was distant and cold and 'didn't care about her feelings'. *smiles wryly* so i left two days later after I spent an hour out in 30 degree wheather barefoot and short-sleeved.

oh and somehow her and jack scammed me out of two laptops and she got mad at me because i was upset about it

not to mention cruelty to the cat she didn't like because it was in heat... i wont even get into that because that action beyond pisses me off

she kicked me out, i made a new geisha school, she brought me back in because she calmed down and she didn't even ask if i wanted back, then a few days later she got told by others what i already told her, she claimed i told her nothing, and because i didn't text her fast enough she kicked me out again. *shrugs*

she wanted to call the police on me if i forced my way into my house.

and let my ex inside to go to the bathroom and help me move the bins. they wanted me to move them all by myself, when it took two men to carry them in. my left side has been acting up, so... yeah i wasn't going to be able to do it by myself. i made my ex come in to help me no matter what Okasan said since technically it was still my house. but she... left one of my kitties out in the 30 degree wheather and rain, tied up, without food or water all night. she's 6 months old


COMMENTS

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xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
20:57 Dec 02 2011

If I were you I would seek help. It appers that You are being treated unjustly.





 

Checkmate

00:41 Dec 01 2011
Times Read: 565


So, one game won, another to begin. Life is a game of chess and it always has been an interesting game. This round is over another begins. Time to work on my lesson plans, because some people actually like having higher IQ's, and some people like learning.


COMMENTS

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CryingMist
CryingMist
05:20 Dec 01 2011

High IQ does not mean winning the game of chess, if you have the knowledge but do not have the common sens on how to use it, the IQ is a waist of brain cell.

Again it all depends on what you base your calculation of that IQ, it can be over rated or under rated.

Still, I do love a nice game of chess. I play with algebric notation, if ever you feel like playing message me on my ChessMaster's profile, I am not master, I just love it as much as a master would love it :)





Phedre
Phedre
15:56 Dec 01 2011

that was not what I was meaning. I teach a school. I mean to be smarter, if they'd like to learn... I need to make the classes for the school. That was somewhat detached to the chess part of the journal. My apologies I should have verified.





 

To appease the one-child audience

00:17 Dec 01 2011
Times Read: 569


Being an adult means knowing you make mistakes or errors and taking responsibility for them. Being an adult does not mean you are a perfect person, I don't know where you get that information.



Definition of a redneck:

offensive. A working-class white person, esp. a politically reactionary one from a rural area: "a place of redneck biases".



According to this definition, I'm no redneck, I'm from the city. A so called 'redneck' is in a rural area. I take no offense, however, to be in the category of the working being, because I am proud to be working, at least that means I am doing something with my life which, must mean you are not.



I never said I was better than anyone, I merely take responsibility for my actions and I don't go making childish remarks, or, ignorant remarks, such as you make, to please anyone even if it would make me feel better.

After all, I'm the adult.

I take responsibility.

Most on here, including you, cannot boast of such an idea.

I choose my words wisely, and those whom I speak to wisely. I don't really have any emotion in these posts I make, so to try to get a rise out of me is pointless. I merely asked for you to not ask people to jump off bridges or cliffs just because they post journals in their journal section.

To continue this little spout and fuel the proverbial fires would be quite pointless. Everyone knows not to take you seriously, so I suppose that small effort of...what was it... kindness...? Was in vain. *shrugs* Let it be. At least I know I made the attempt, and I was responsible enough to admit that I was wrong in thinking you would take a small request seriously. I apologize for holding you in a higher standard.

Also, you may have blocked me, but I will not block you. You have not done anything to warrant me to block you. Granted, you would need a lot for me to block you, as I don't have anyone blocked on my list for the fact no one got to that point.

I have all the patience for you to go ahead and continue your little game, while I sit behind, and continue being on Vampire Rave drama free, enjoying my time on here as it should be. Have a good evening DemonicWhisper.


COMMENTS

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Kieataya
Kieataya
01:12 Dec 01 2011

Right. I would also like to point out (since she forgot to mention it) that just because others can't see what you comment in a private message to her journals it doesn't make you any less childish. So all of YOUR talk of her needing to grow up as well is equally as pointless and reflects just as badly on yourself as it does her. Conversation ended on both your parts. Drop it.








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